5 Self Improvement Tips for Personal Power, Peak Performance and Prosperity

I believe that, ultimately, we all want peace and fulfillment more than anything else.

Of course, there are other things we want. And truth is, we must actualize some of these other things if we are to attain deep and lasting peace.

Of course, fulfillment itself comes primarily, if not exclusively, from actualizing our other needs, such as the need for growth, contribution, stimulation and mattering.

All of these things mean we must master our mindset - our beliefs, habitual thoughts and expectations. We must be committed to personal development. Only if we are developing personally will our lives develop materially.

Here are five tips to create greater peace, motivation and mindset mastery.

1. Accept only self-compassion and positive self-talk.

This is a tough one. Most of us engage in self-flagellation, to one degree or another. This emanates from our belief-set; our mindset.

Make an active and habitual practice to seek out and compliment yourself on your skills, virtues and wins.

Habitually recognize, praise and congratulate yourself, as you would a child you love.

Seriously. Make a conscious, active and habitual practice of this. You will be amazed at how this practice alone will massively change your habitual mindset, feelings and emotions. Increasing your state of being, motivation, joy and fulfillment.

At the end of each day, make a list of three to five things you did well. Also add one thing you will do better next time. Always keep the ratio skewed at least 3 to 1 towards the positive.

2. Never compare yourself to others.

We all have our own path, our own brain, mind and personality. Another's path has no bearing whatsoever on our validity, ability or journey - other than in the empowering lessons we can take from their lives.

Learn from others, but don't ever compare yourself to others.

Use lessons from others for personal development and success. But never compare yourself to another.

Believe in yourself. Be aware of and grateful for your strengths, while determined to constantly grow and improve.

3. Accept, even celebrate, that life will absolutely have disappointments and pain. They are the fuel to self improvement.

We all want to grow. To figure things out. And to matter. We all want to create and experience personal success.

Success equals change. Positive change. Growth.

If WE aren't growing and developing, our lives cannot grow and develop.

When do we grow most? Heck, for most of us, most of the time, when do we grow at all?

When we experience obstacles, disappointments and pain. When we hit setbacks, which fuel motivation and determination to change and make things better. And only when we change for the better do our results change for the better.

Hack your mind to revel in obstacles, disappointments and, yes, even pain. Know that they are not permanent. Nor are they an indication of any lack on your part. See and feel them and beautiful opportunities to take advantage of and accelerate personal development. They bring us closer to being the person and success for which we are destined.

4. There is no failure, but in failing to begin or failing to continue.

I passionately believe this to be true. Whatever our outcomes, we only fail in not trying or giving up.

Stay true to your ultimate purpose, mission and vision and adjust your strategies and tactics as wisdom dictates.

Changing direction isn't necessarily failure or negative. Don't give up on your dream, but do stay true to your soul. If you are truly meant for a path other than the current one you placed yourself on, accept that and move passionately onto the new path.

Be generous, loving, kind and compassionate with yourself. Have and hold yourself to high standards, but with loving compassion and optimism that you will capitalize on and prevail in all circumstances. Treat yourself with the love, patience and compassion a wise altruistic elder would treat the beautiful soul of a child.

5. Love yourself. Believe you are perfect. But that you will become more perfect each day and that the journey is never over.

Keep this self-image. Constantly love, support, praise and humor yourself as you would the child or friend you most love or as you would be loved and supported by a loving, more seasoned and wiser person who would love you.

But also keep the thirst for personal development and success burning within. We are all works in process. Perfect as we are today, but driven to an even higher level of perfection today and tomorrow.

There you have it. Five habitual practices that will help bring you all you are after: Love, peace, prosperity, growth, stimulation and, probably, anything else your soul desires.

Cheers friends.

What do you want more of? Money? Career growth? Fulfillment?

As they say: "to get something we've never had, we must do something we've never done."

There is definite science & art to prosperity & success.

Master your potential, your life, your dreams & your results with Chris' Life and Goal Success System.

Christopher speaks & leads seminars on peak performance, leadership, management & success. He has his MBA from Purdue's Top-20 b-school, 12 years as a Vice President for Fortune-25 companies where he sourced and managed well over $1-billion in alliances and relationships. Chris left corporate banking and has spent 13 years as an entrepreneur, selling his first company, Billing Management Group.

He is now an acclaimed author, speaking and trainer in peak performance, leadership and public speaking.

Get FREE TRAINING (written & video) in peak performance, goal achievement, leadership and public speaking at: https://christopherbabson.com/success-principles

And at Christopher's YouTube channel: http://Www.youtube.com/c/christopherbabson

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Do You Know How Much Is Enough?

I'm sure we've all been to events of one kind or another where immediately the buffet is served one group of people jump up and start filling their plates to the brim, without any thought or consideration for niceties, other guests, or restraint.

In those situations there's a reasonable chance that if we don't quickly follow we'll be left hungry, as they'll often revisit several times to restock. The concept of 'enough' or 'too much' doesn't appear to enter their thoughts.

Then there are those people who always say 'yes' to whatever is asked of them, whether it be requests from work or to attend to the needs of family or friends. They never say 'no', are always available and yet are often tired, stressed out, and left with little time for themselves. It may be their personal preference as they thrive on being busy, would despair if they had time on their hands; but how much is enough to ask of someone?

Should we be psychic and intuitively pick up on the limits of another person's capacity to cope, or instead let good manners prevail, where we put ourselves in their shoes, assume when they're doing too much and second-guess their motivation? Giving money, time and effort to others can be an unremitting commitment, but if the person doing the giving says 'yes' why shouldn't we take them at their word? After all, they're an adult, it's their choice to say yes. It's their responsibility to vocalise what they want or need.

It may be, in fact, that they're genuinely happy to be involved and love being constantly on the go. Busyness may be a life-saver for them. Our insightfulness may be all well and good, but none of us can truly appreciate the workings of someone else's life or mind, or know when they're reaching their limits.

They may revel in being valuable and useful, define themselves through their service to others. Granted, they may have issues that need to be dealt with at some point, past experiences and insecurities that colour their confidence and outlook on life, but being busy can provide a buffer to life, giving time and distance for healing and readjustment. It can be a valuable alternative to seeing a therapist or doctor.

Boundaries are an important way of introducing two-way respect and pre-determining how much is enough. Both sides understand and appreciate that give and take should alternate, not be all one-way. There can be times in a relationship when one person wants or needs additional support, and that may be fine and offered with love. Family, financial, work, or health situations may be draining or stressful for them and support can be essential in order for them to continue managing and coping.

At another time the situation may reverse and it then becomes important to alternate the role of supporter, to reciprocate and give time, attention, advice, love or input where needed. There may not be a balance sheet which reconciles each person's contribution, but at the end of the day give and take often work out evenly distributed.

As a therapist, working in a caring profession means being aware of not over-stepping the mark and being pristine about boundaries. It's important to demonstrate care, interest and support, often through active listening and tailoring each piece of therapeutic work to be the most beneficial for each client session.

We must also recognise that our role is to provide a framework for the client to address their own particular issues, whilst refraining from becoming overly involved. No one can fully appreciate the layers that have contributed to each person's experience, how their different challenges have affected them, how emotionally invested they are in their situation. It's for them to discover what they need to work through to be able to move on from where they're at. That's why a therapist or adviser's role is to step back and encourage answers to questions like, 'what needs to happen for you to move forward from this?'

Answering 'how much is enough' is paying attention to how we personally feel, how much we're giving and taking, being aware of others but also checking that we're continuing to feel good about our input. Just as with the buffet, it's important to recognise that we don't exist in isolation. There are ongoing people and situations around us. No one is an island and just because some people don't push to the front of the queue doesn't necessarily mean that they're not hungry or in need of sustenance too.

Yes, it's their responsibility to take care of themselves and ask for what they want but being less self-absorbed and a little more alert to other peoples' presence allows everyone to have enough and enjoy their share of what's available.

Susan Leigh, counsellor, hypnotherapist, relationship counsellor, writer & media contributor offers help with relationship issues, stress management, assertiveness and confidence. She works with individual clients, couples and provides corporate workshops and support.

She's author of 3 books, 'Dealing with Stress, Managing its Impact', '101 Days of Inspiration #tipoftheday' and 'Dealing with Death, Coping with the Pain', all on Amazon & with easy to read sections, tips and ideas to help you feel more positive about your life.

To order a copy or for more information, help and free articles visit http://www.lifestyletherapy.net

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Louise Hay: You are what you think

NO EXCUSES IN 2020 - Best Study Motivation

FOCUS ON YOURSELF NOT OTHERS - Best Study Motivation Compilation for Success & Students

Five Ways to Be Ahead of Time

One of the greatest assets in life is time, one of the greatest delusions in life is still time and one of the greatest illusions in life is time.

The world is regulated by time, as far as life on Earth is concerned, it is timed, and every aspect of living is timed. The different categories of timing represent the diverse stages of life. In reality, time regulates seasons, seasons influence trends and trends regulate people. Thus everyone in life is either a time setter or a time checker.

Time setters are able to position themselves ahead of the time by following principles that propel them beyond the present time while time checkers follow time and are bound by the shackles of trends.

However, there are principles to follow if you desire to be ahead of time, below are five vital ones:

1) BE VISIONARY:
What do you see? Vision is not the presence of sight, but the presence of inner sight or what you call INSIGHT. What you see for your life affects what you expect from your life and how you move in your life. Seeing beyond the present moment, gives you a glimpse of what the future can be and ultimately gives you the advantage to prepare for it. Vision propels you to move ahead of the present season and positions you ahead of the crowd.

2) PLAN.
In advancing in life, the place of planning can never be overemphasized. You have envisioned the times ahead, then take one more step to plan your way to it. Ask crucial questions, meet strategic people, obtain the required skills and synchronize your life around your plan of the vision. Ask yourself, what does it take to get to my vision, how can I get there, where should I start, who do I need, how long will it take me to get to my vision. Be deliberate to get the right answers because they unfold your plan for the vision.

3) BE PASSIONATE.
Passion is a fuel to purposeful living. One distinguishing factor in life is the passion we live it with. Passion keeps you moving even in the most harsh conditions. When you lose passion for living, you have lost life itself. Develop passion For the plan of your vision, and see the self limiting obstacles crumble in your face.

All through history, you will discover that the most outstanding people are the most passionate ones. These are men and women who are zealous of what they are doing, and they are not apologetic about their obsessions.

4) FORM A HABIT.
To be ahead of the crowd, form vision sustaining habits. Be deliberate in cultivating habits that will naturally bring you closer to your vision. When you absorb great habits into your lifestyle, you automatically program your mind on what is important to you. One thing about habits are that they are hard to cultivate, and even harder to break. Consistency with these vision oriented habits gives you an edge over those that do not have them and places you on the right track for vision actualization.

5) PRAY
Vision, plan,passion and habit are nothing without the hand of God. Prayer still remains the master key to unlocking the future. When you pray and Access God, your vision crystallizes in your spirit and you start living it out in the now. Hearing from God is an acid test to the success of every vision. Moreover, visions are birthed in the place of prayer, and prayer, brings God into every vision, plan, passion and habit. Don't make praying your last option, rather the first. Prayer simplifies complicated matters and builds your faith, which is crucial in vision actualization, especially the big ones. Therefore, the bigger the vision, the more praying is involved.

Finally, understand that life is in seasons, but you can change the season by influencing the time through these principles.

DON'T JUST WATCH TIME...
SET YOUR DESTINY TIME...

SHALOM.
#seedtract.

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Tony Robbins - Energy For Life

SELF DISCIPLINE - Best Motivational Speech Video (Featuring Will Smith)

Tony Robbins Tips On Changing The Way You Feel

Hit A Wall

Not again. I can't believe this is happening to me. Am I ever going to catch a break? I can't trust anyone.

Sometimes you just hit a wall. Other times you are making a choice to be a victim. It is your mindset that causes the murky waters. Yes, there will be times when life isn't fair. And I never wish to minimize anyone's suffering. But we need to ask ourselves if we are causing self imposed suffering? I think we all are guilty of this at some point in our lives. But so many have the "Not Again" attitude that is draining not only them, but everyone else around them.

I see this all too often in my practice. A new client comes in and tells me all the terrible things that are happening to them. I go into support mode and begin to line up some action items to stop the suffering. Over the course of a few months, no action items have been completed, let alone attempted. There is blame being cast at every person that is left in their life. And lastly, the slowly stop showing up for their appointments. It's hard to support someone who self identifies as being a life long victim.

There truly are victims out there. I have worked with the sexually assaulted, the sex trafficked and abandoned. People with completely horrific backgrounds. And believe it or not, some of these people carry a brighter disposition than many of us who take a bad day and make it much worse than it really is. We must train ourselves not to over react when we hit the wall. And because this is life, we are all going to hit the wall. The question is, do we stop driving? Or, do we just accept that there will be more walls in the future? I have found that acceptance overrides fear. Because if we fear, life begins to shrink all around us.

Why is it that some people focus while others fold when they hit the wall? It is all about the mindset. I love using the analogy that the greatest baseball players only get on base maybe 30 percent of the time. In other words, they get a hit 3 out of ten times at bat. While some see 30 percent as a failure, others see it as an accomplishment. Mindset. How do you see it?

We're going to have some bad days. We're going to pick some people who are not a good fit for us spirituality and or mentally. Train yourself to outlast the storm. Learn to let those people go who do not inspire you to level up. I promise it doesn't make you a bad person to want more for yourself. Just as you wouldn't purposely carry these bad days with you. Do not carry the uninspired in your inner circle. Because we're going to hit the wall. And when we do, the last person you want to try and lift you up is someone who is a life long victim.

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The Magic in Your Smile

When was the last time you allowed a beautiful memory to keep a truly good smile on your face? One of the things you should press to do and keep daily is your smile. You'll be amazed to know what keeping a smile on your face is already helping you have.

Dale Carnegie mentioned that "the expression one wears on one's face is far more important than the clothes one wears on one's back". You could not agree less with the words in this quote.

Ever wondered why most people never seem to be aging? What makes you feel more relaxed with some people and not others? How did you feel that day you had a sour morning and your colleague beamed a smile at you? A smile is the cutest thing anywhere in the world.

In a Swedish study, subjects were shown pictures of several emotions: joy, anger, fear and surprise. When the picture of someone smiling was presented, the researchers asked the subjects to frown. Instead, they found that the facial expressions went directly to imitation of what subjects saw. It took conscious effort to turn that smile upside down. So if you're smiling at someone, it's likely they can't help but smile back. If they don't, they're simply making a conscious effort not to.

A smile has special powers and you need to believe that! It can quickly calm fear, insecurity, hurt and anxiety, not only in your self but in the lives of everyone else experiencing those feelings.

Smiles are contagious! Give it to the world and you'll get it right back.

You can make a difference in your life and in the lives of others simply by smiling. Have a look at this, each time you smile at a person, their brain coaxes them to return the favor. You are creating a symbiotic relationship that allows both of you to release chemicals that make you feel good in your brain, activate reward centers, make you both more attractive and increase the chances of you both living longer, healthier lives.

Again it is of utmost importance to know and remember that it takes fewer muscles to smile than to frown. Nobody wants to have wrinkles, so ensure somehow that your smile stays on your face.

It'll amaze you to know that smiling is a key for establishing healthy and genuine friendships. A smile from a person to you indicates that they like you. Your smile also can also offer encouragement to the people you meet and talk with.

Do you want to make a lasting and beautiful first impression? Smile. You look better when you smile, people treat you differently and you're viewed as attractive, reliable, relaxed and sincere. Attempt thinking of a beautiful memory and put on that beauty you got.

Make it a priority to smile. Attempt to make it a new decision today.

Smile... The world is so much better when you do.

Augusta Ogban

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Happiness May Save Your Life

1. Happiness is a habit.

There has been so much reporting of tragedy, hurt, pain, and suffering recently that I have found myself joining in the familiar mantra of gloom misery and despair that friends, colleagues all repeat on a regular basis. It now almost feels obscene to express joy or happiness anymore.

There is no question that very many people are being impacted and affected daily by a variety of pain, sorrow and loss, and compassion must be shown to them. However, there are also many other people who have made complaints and unhappiness the order of the day.

The truth of the matter is that happiness is a state of the mind. You have the freedom to choose happiness; it's as simple as that. The great things of life are usually simple, dynamic and creative.

Begin now to choose happiness. This takes being mindful of a desire to be happy. Reverse the mantra of blame, accusations, condemnations and judgements. Avoid thoughts that are repeated regularly and that systematically sink into the subconscious mind and become habitual. Happiness is a habit.

2. The desire to be happy.

In order to be happy, you must sincerely desire to be happy. There was a time when almost every day when I woke up, I had a kick in my step and a smile on my face. As time progressed, I found that this state was becoming less instinctive and I literarily had to drag my thoughts and demeanour away from what I didn't want to one of joy and happiness.

This is not to say I was or am in denial of whatever challenges of my environment there might be to overcome. I'm simply making a choice in spite of that, to be happy.

There are people who have been depressed, dejected and unhappy for so long that even when something joyful or good happens to them, they have become accustomed to the old mental patterns of unhappiness that they do not feel comfortable being happy. They long for the former depressed unhappy state.

Sometimes people become addicted to the attention (albeit negative) from being miserable and unhappy. There is an expression that 'misery loves company', and there is a pull to bring others into this unholy alliance. There seems to be a peculiar mental, morbid streak in many people, whereby they seem to enjoy being miserable sad and unhappy.

Many people choose unhappiness by entertaining bleak thoughts such as: 'everything is going to go wrong', 'I'm not going to succeed', everyone is against me', 'business is bad and going to get worse', and I never get any breaks'. Having this attitude of mind first thing in the morning will undoubtedly leave you feeling unhappy. Worse still, it leaves you unavailable and unprepared for the opportunities that may come your way that day.

Begin to realize the world you live in is determined largely by what goes on in your mind. The thoughts you habitually entertain in your mind have the tendency to actualize themselves in physical conditions. I am always amazed at how creative and productive I become when I take control of my thoughts and not allow them to run rampant and reckless; during which time I lose the ability to think intelligently.

3. Wealth in and of itself does not make a person happy.

Wealth in and of itself does not make a person happy, though it is also not a deterrent to happiness. Today, there are many people trying to buy happiness through material acquisitions. The key to happiness is in your thoughts and feelings. Too many people have the idea that it takes something artificial to produce happiness, whereas happiness is a mental and spiritual state.

Few of us will get through life without experiencing some episode of anxiety, anger, worry or depression. However, we can all learn to handle difficult emotions, the key is training our minds in compassion. Compassion towards ourselves and other people can help us heal our turbulent minds and enhance your well-being. Compassionate thinking is a skill, much like learning to play an instrument, something that can be enhanced with dedicated practice.

The practice of regulating thoughts and emotions can be useful for those prone to anxiety or depression and learning compassion for other people can help with gaining perspective. When we find compassion for others, in so doing we strengthen our characters and enhance our well-being. Nigeria is a country screaming for compassion for and by its people.

Recognizing that we are all mortal and imperfect and that is part of what we share as a human experience is an important part of compassion. Having compassion for others and ultimately ourselves means we honour and accept our humanness. Things will not always go our way. We will encounter frustrations and loss. We will make mistakes, fall short of our ideals, face big or small challenges and encounter personal failings. Having compassion allows us to be less judgmental of others as well as ourselves.

4. Happiness is the harvest of a quiet mind.

We need to anchor our thoughts on peace, prose, security, and possibly divine guidance. Negative thoughts and emotions sink to our subconscious and cause all kinds of difficulties and maladies in our life. When your attention wanders bring it back to the contemplation of your goals and the good in you. Make a habit of this and subsequently, you discipline your mind. This can be life-affirming.

Learning to adjust our thinking to be more compassionate involves a small but regular commitment to retraining our emotional distress enable us to handle and recover from our stress better. If people can activate their self-soothing system, through generating thoughts and images of kindness, they might be more likely to manage difficult feelings and will be less likely to engage in an unhelpful and destructive behaviour.

You have the freedom to choose a good or bad habit. To form a new habit, you must be convinced that it is desirable. Happiness is desirable!

5. Interpersonal relationship engineer happiness in one's life.

Interpersonal relationships are important and necessary for our continuous existence. Without them, our lives would have virtually no meaning or purpose. An interpersonal relationship provides companionship. No matter how self-reliant you are, you can't be alone or live in isolation.

As humans, we cannot avoid interactions with one another. Relationship with other humans is the most fundamental aspect of our lives because we are innately social, and are shaped by our experiences with others. Whether in the home, at work or any other place, we have acquaintances with people-casual or close-and maintain relationship everywhere we go.

A close association or acquaintance between one or two people that may be brief or enduring is called interpersonal relationship. The association may be based on love, solidarity, regular business interactions, or some other type of social commitment. Interpersonal relationships are formed in different contexts that can vary from marriage, family or kinship relations, friendship, relations with associates, work, neighbourhoods, and places of worship. These contexts account for the different types of interpersonal relationship: marriage, family, friendship, professional etc.

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The Delivering Power of God

Recently when my wife suddenly became ill, I said to someone, "Complex situations are irrelevant when it comes to the delivering power of God." And I do very much believe that to be true.

There are many examples of the delivering power of God in all sorts of situations recorded in the Bible. Perhaps one of the most familiar is the parting of the Red Sea for the children of Israel. The situation was indeed complex, hopeless to say the least, and apparently, there was no solution.

But the delivering power of God intervened in a most dramatic way. The waters parted and they walked across on dry ground. Can you imagine? Dry ground?

Some 40 years later, the children of Israel saw waters parted and they crossed the Jordan River, at flood stage, once again on dry ground. The Scriptures also tell us about years later, when the great Prophet Elijah struck water with his mantle and the water parted, allowing him and Elisha to walk across, you guessed it, on dry ground. Then, a short time later, Elisha did the same thing, striking the water with his mantle, and walking across on dry ground.

It is absolutely baffling to our human brains how water can be parted, allowing someone, or a multitude of people, to walk across on dry ground! Four times in the Scriptures we see the delivering power of God bringing that to pass. Were there other times? We don't know.

We do know that on one occasion God did not part the Sea of Galilee in order that Jesus could cross on dry ground. Instead, Jesus simply walked on the water! What?! This awesome display of the power of God is astonishing to read about in the Gospels.

Now imagine what it was like for the apostles to see it happen firsthand! And add to that, Jesus invited Peter to walk on the water! And Peter did, for a brief moment or two!

These five records in the Bible remind me of the verses in Isaiah where God tells us His thoughts are not our thoughts, and His ways are not our ways. He goes on to say, "For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways, and my thoughts than your thoughts. (Isaiah 55:9)

In other words, God has solutions we've never even thought about.

That's why I do believe complex situations are irrelevant when it comes to the delivering power of God. Odds don't matter. God has solutions.

There are numerous records in the Bible clearly showing the delivering power of God. When you read those accounts it is obvious God not only has solutions, but He desires to help His people. And that greatly encourages you to believe and trust Him.

During these past several weeks my wife and I have been very mindful of a number of the promises of God recorded in His Word. Our prayers echo those loving promises. Most especially, the following two verses have been both very encouraging and very inspiring.

Isaiah 41:10-13

Fear thou not; for I am with thee: be not dismayed; for I am thy God: I will strengthen thee; yea, I will help thee; yea, I will uphold thee with the right hand of my righteousness.

For I the LORD thy God will hold thy right hand, saying unto thee, Fear not; I will help thee.

I have more information about God's love, help, and deliverance on my blog, Confidence And Joy. It's filled with information about Practical Christian Living! Subscribe for free to the blog and I'll give you my eBook, "Nine Simple Keys To Answered Prayer." http://www.confidenceandjoy.com Michael A. Verdicchio

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FAITH & IMAGINATION | Steve Harvey Motivational Speech 2019

Check Yourself

Check yourself, before you... well you know what I mean. If you can't check yourself, trust your partner or circle to do it for you. In a time when everyone wants to be an entrepreneur or influencer, somehow many have a hard time influencing their own life. Everyone wants to build, lead or teach, but few are willing to see what's broken, follow or be taught.

Relationships are a lost art. Just this morning I had a client who wanted to know if breaking up with his girlfriend could be done via text? Yes, you can break up through text. But here is another example of relationships skills being lost.

I have to wonder why so many are afraid to be open with their feelings? Sure, no one wants to be vulnerable. But how do we ever experience true passion, let alone love, without being open? Is it that we have yet to define ourselves? Do we not know who we are? If that's the case, how can we ever truly present our true light to anyone we meet? We are just presenting our thoughts at that particular time and space.

Self discovery opens doors that we never knew existed. To have a full understanding of the very matter that makes you, is a dance of expression. To know who you are and your worth, sends a beacon to those who are on the same frequency as you. I think that is why over the past decade my practice has been is geared toward relationships and personal development. I have watched way too many people {I'm guilty of it too, as a younger man} look for a relationship to solve their inner insecurities and hoping for validation.

I lecture about this all time. It's not what you get from the relationship, it's what you bring to the relationship. So many of my clients fail to look at their behaviors when their dating. It's always the other persons fault. There comes a time when we should check ourselves on our own BS. What I find interesting is that by far the couples that I see lasting, are the couples where one person initiates coaching to work on themselves first, rather than starting couples coaching. It's an affirmation that maybe they aren't bringing the best they have to the relationship. That before they accuse and point the finger, they want to be checked themselves. That is a true indicator of relationship survival.

Your partner and your inner circle are a reflection of you. Ask yourself these 3 things. Are they always in conflict? Do they take any responsibility themselves? Are they willing to put in the work to get it turned around? If the answer is no, they won't be able to check you. If your inner circle, or your partner is not working to become the best version of themselves, more than likely they will not have the skill-set to help you become the best version of yourself. That doesn't mean to cut them loose. It just means you will probably need outside help to make your corrections.

I say all that to say this. You're going to have some failed relationships. You're going to get hurt from time to time. The one investment that we should be fully invested in is ourselves. Be it self help measures, your partner, inner circle, coach or counselor, we need to check ourselves. Because if we don't. We are staring at a life with storms with interval periods of sun, only to return to the rain. And the only shelter to be found, is the foundation of your personal development. And you can't build it, until you check it.

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Denzel Washington's Life Advice Will Leave You SPEECHLESS |LISTEN THIS EVERYDAY AND CHANGE YOUR LIFE

Thinking Does Not Equal Knowing

Are you the smartest person in the room? Wish you were? Used to be but age or some other factor have stolen your influence?

There was I time as a global speaker that I believed I was the smartest person in the room until after one speech many years ago I discovered I was probably the dumbest person in the room. What a wonderful and life-changing experience that was.

Let me ask you - what do you actually - know - other than the basics; your name, address, relatives, job position etc.?

If I was given the opportunity to question media folks, politicians, religious leaders, educational people etc. - "How do you know that?" I will personally guarantee you that 99% of the time they will give me opinions, prejudices, feelings or anything that has become a part of their mental "makeup."

Try it the next time you are having a conversation with anyone - boss, customer, spouse etc. "How do you know that?" And watch as they search for random information that in most cases will not be grounded in truth, facts or evidence.

What am I trying to say here?

Well, for starters there are some things we know but there are a lot of things we believe we know but we don't.

Take this article for example - there is no way I can know how you are reacting to anything I am sharing. Yes, I can guess but it will be just that - a guess and not grounded in facts.

Let me give you just one quick recent example.

Listen to any politician answer most questions and I will guarantee if you could personally follow-up with a - How do you know that, you would get a strange stare.

So what is the difference between knowing and thinking?

First of all, just because you learn something - from a book, seminar, class, friend, boss etc. doesn't mean what you are learning is true.

Second - just because something has now been etched in your mind that you learned and now believe or think - doesn't mean it's true or fact.

So how do we know anything?

Well, I know when I hit G on my keyboard G is coming up on the screen. When I hit - Save - I know it's saved. This is technology

. When I put my car in reverse I know I'm going backward. When I set the oven to 350 degrees - the same. Again, these are technology issues.

However, when I am driving 70 MPH on the highway and I am separated by 25 feet from the person in front of me I don't know that I could get in an accident. It's called assumptions. I am assuming his or her car won't break down in front of me while we are driving. Been there?

Just because I order a meal in a restaurant doesn't mean it will be cooked properly or is even clean. Now, I'm not making wild accusations here just simply that there is more in life that we don't know than we do but most people believe because they think something - they know it.

So, let me ask you - what do you think you know that you think you know but you don't really know

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Bill Gates 7 Rules of Success | Microsoft Founder | Entrepreneur | Motivational Speech

Tony Robbins: THE MAGIC OF CHANGING YOUR THINKING! (very motivational)

Do You Need An Encourager In Your Life Now?

Do you need an encourager in your life now? Ever needed one in the past? Are you an encourager? Just so we are on the same page if you decide to read this article - an encourager is someone who - guess what - yes, encourages others. But, is there more to the idea of being an encourager? Yes, and I know firsthand what role an encourager can have in our life when we are heading in the wrong direction, hitting bottom or just feel like no one cares.

During my years I have had many occasions when I was in desperate need of encouragement rather than invalidation. And, on some occasions, these people showed up and, on many occasions, I was left alone to navigate life's challenges, trials, adversity and failures alone. I have learned both the hard way and the easy way the importance of having encouragers in our lives when we need them.

How about you - ever had to deal with a life issue alone and no one was in your corner or maybe even no one who cared? I can tell you if you have never been there that these times can be very trying life circumstances that can stretch us to our limits of faith, patience, hope, and belief forcing us to reach deep and find something we didn't even know we had.

What is the role of an encourager?

Encouragers are not in our lives to pave the way forward so that we can aimlessly wander through life's circumstances, lessons and challenges without effort, learning, fear or even guaranteed success. Encouragers are teachers. They are caring and compassionate souls who want to help us learn life's lessons with as little pain and trauma as possible but they are not in our lives to help us avoid what life wants and needs us to learn so we can be productive humans regardless of our roles, responsibilities or opportunities. Encourages can cheer us on, root for us and listen to our concerns and needs but their role is not to remove the learning from our lives that are necessary to master so we can grow and become productive in whatever fashion we have chosen.

Encouragers don't remove the pain or drama from our life, but they help us to find the inner courage, belief, and resilience to handle it, manage it, overcome it and yes learn from it.

Who can be an encourager?

Encouragers can be family, friends, co-workers, customers and even total strangers. I can recall years ago sitting in an airport waiting to board a flight when I was having a conversation with a total stranger. FYI - ever had one of those - where you shared intimate inner fears, dreams, plans, hopes or frustrations with a total stranger who you knew you would never see again? Happens all the time and why? We all need times to share, express and cathart and if we don't have people in our routine lives who can fill this role, we will reach out to anyone and everyone from time to time.

Back to my example - I shared with them the frustration of dealing with a challenging client that I had been working with for years. They listened respectfully as I went on for what seemed forever, and they finally asked a simple question. "Why are you tolerating this behavior and not just cutting the cord and moving on?" This is not what I thought I wanted to hear or felt I needed to hear but it was what they chose to share, and you know what - in reality, it was exactly what I needed to hear.

I could have shared this with a spouse at the time or a few good friends and peers but was unable to admit the frustration to them so I just kept it bottled up inside me to the detriment of other relationships and activities in my life that kept deteriorating due to my lack of ability or willingness to address the issue. Finally, with the help of a total stranger, I was able to move one.

Ever been there? How about family, friends and even neighbors who from time to time are needed to help us weather life's storms?
How can we handle stuff when we don't have an encouraged in our life?
Trials, tribulations, adversity, disappointment, failure, etc. are all a normal part of living. To deny them is to be naive and immature. So, what are we to do when they strike with or without warning? There are dozens of ways to manage life's negative circumstances and while some are more efficient than others many can be a waste of time, energy and even resources.

Enter the encourager, someone who can help you, support you, believe in you, teach you, encourage you and care. No one likes going through adversity alone especially when we are unable to see clearly the resources, solutions or answers that are obvious and right in front of us.

No one wants to feel abandoned or without someone who cares when life's negatives show up on our doorstep. We all need emotional support from time to time regardless of our age, gender, financial status or education.

Without encouragers in our lives during challenging times we will tend to overreact, fall into depression, feel hopeless, make dumb decisions or just isolate ourselves from the world.

Encouragers are an important part of our lives and believe me having gone through many negative life experiences alone I treasure a few of the encouragers I have had during my life. "Thant you - each and every one of you."

What does it take to be an encourager for others?

I'll keep this final question short and to the point. To be an encourager you need some or many of the following traits, characteristics, attitudes, beliefs, values, etc.

-You care about the influence you have on others.
-You believe in the value of the human spirit in others.
-You do not have a selfish bone in your body.
-You always put others ahead of yourself.
- You have a giving spirit.
- You want to leave a legacy of service.
- You have the ability, to be honest even when the message might be perceived as negative.
- You have a healthy self-esteem.
- You don't need the approval of others to feel personal value.
- You are a listener.
- You do not have personal agendas whole encouraging others.

Yes, there are many others, but these are a few of the basics.

Got any of these traits? Need them from someone else?

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