Navigating Life With Emotional Intelligence (Surviving, Striving, Thriving)

I like to use this coaching model for my clients who are visual learners; it takes the client on a journey through the 3 Phases of Life. For clarification purposes, whenever I talk about going through phases, or transitioning I like to be very honest with my client and let them know transitioning from any place or phase to another requires sacrifice. Maybe you will have to give something up, but the return on investment of time, energy, blood, sweat, and tears is going to be more than worth it at the end of the journey. Transitioning through this model will help clients to become self-sufficient and create a value system that can withstand the test of adversity.

The Survivor is someone who does not feel empowered to make change, or connection with their true self. He/she might get stuck when it comes to facing challenges, feel helpless, lack confidence in decision-making, afraid to stand up for themselves, etc. What does it look like to be stuck in survival mode? This person may have a history of learned helplessness, family history of perpetual traumatic experiences through generations, addicted to drugs and feel like "the high" is better than working to get out of survival mode.

The Striver is someone who recognizes that they are in survival mode and wants more out of life. He/she is at the most pivotal point in the 3 Phases of Life because with recognition comes the fact that the client will now have to decide if they are going to take action, or remain in survival mode. If the client decides at this time they would like to take action and do something about their predicament, but they are lacking a solid value system it is likely the client will get discouraged and revert back to old habits that may prevent them from transitioning to the Thriving Phase.

The Thriving Phase is where you want to be in this Coaching Model. He/she is someone who knows their purpose in life, has a strong sense of belonging, trusts that those people whom they surrounds themselves by have their best interests at heart, sees the opportunity within every challenge, is at peace with themselves and decisions they have made in the past. You may have noticed someone who in the Thriving Phase of Life by their high energy, ultra-positivity, or their happy-go-lucky demeanor. They are typically the people you meet and the first thought in your mind is "I'll have some of whatever they're having."

Now that we have discussed the model the question you should be asking is how do I develop a system of core values that can withstand a test of hardship? I would invite you to get a firm understanding of Emotional Intelligence (EI) and how it can help you with establishing boundaries in your relationships.

Next, I would invite you to do the following:
1. Take powerful action (decide right now that you will not stay in survival mode regardless of what may occur in your life you will always strive to do better),
2. Make strong decisions and stick with them (if you say you are "done with... " make sure you stick to your word),
3. Develop a clear life vision (what is the BIG Goal? Who's coming with you? Who are you leaving behind?),
4. Create a value system that will withstand the stormy weather life throws our way because at some point we all face adversity.

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Be Inspired to Go Higher!

We all have dreams but are we truly living them to the fullest? Are we really living our best life or are we settling for what life has presented us? There is always going to be something standing in between where we are at and where we desire to be, but it's our job to push through the obstacles to get to the opportunities. And not just to improve our life, but there may be someone waiting on us to show up, to inspire them to improve their life. What if their purpose is connected to us getting in alignment with our purpose?

If your dream is to make a difference in the lives of others as a life coach, then there is a reason God put that dream in your heart. And your dream is closer than you can imagine, and this is your time! We can't continue to move through life out of alignment. That may always cause us to feel like something is missing in our life. And it may always cause us to feel like we were made for more. There is something so beautiful about stepping into our power and making a meaningful difference in the lives of others.

Does that mean that life will always be easy? No, it doesn't. But it does mean that we have the inner motivation to overcome life's challenges and difficulties. It means because we are in alignment we believe we will always come out of a situation better than how we were when we went in it, meaning that we will come out stronger, more purposeful, with a powerful testimony, or with the blessing we have been believing for.

Making a difference in the lives of others is a wonderful feeling beyond what words can describe. Just knowing that someone has found hope again because of you, or someone is pursuing their goals because or you, or someone's confidence has been elevated because or you, or someone has overcome obstacles because of you, is priceless. We may underestimate the fact that someone needs what we have to offer. And they are probably praying for a solution to their problem, that is connected to us. The world is full of hopeless people, but the world is also full of hope. And hope flows through us and into the lives of others through our gifts, encouragement, inspiration, and support.

What God has called us to do is bigger than us, and it's bigger than money. Money is a part of the result. Money is beneficial and money is needed for many things, but it is not our driving force to do what we do. Our driving force is helping to transform lives. And the financial part is the exchange for the value we provide. And when we focus on empowering others and making a difference, the money shows up.

If you feel like coaching is a part of your divine path, then it's time for you to get going. Your level of fulfillment and your life could change drastically. And God can use you in a way greater than you can even imagine!

Dr. Shauntel Peak-Jimenez is the founder of The Character and Self-Esteem (CASE) Institute where she provides life coach training and certification to purpose-driven individuals. She specializes in providing inspiration and education to help others transform their purpose into profit.

To find out about becoming a Certified Life Coach please visit http://www.thecaseinstitute.com. You can also complete a dual certification program and enhance your purpose and profit even more.

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The Giver and The Taker

The topic is not only intriguing but also interesting too. Both the giver and taker are sincere and truthful within the sanctity of their existential parameters. What counts is the effect of both persons' action and reaction in their dispositions and relationship with others. It could be business, societal and cultural dealings affecting individually and collectively. The giver is more concerned about others and their success. He keeps his own interest secondary and becomes extrovert in establishing a lasting friendship. Whereas, the taker adopts clarity of his mind and implements the plans which suit his main criteria. He prefers challenges and fresh inputs from close associates with whom he is in partnership.

Analyzing the modus operandi of both the giver and the taker it becomes crystal clear that the former's efforts will yield dividends in the long run. Nonetheless, the taker reaps his booty rather quickly. A word of caution for taker; it is unsafe in the long run and also the fruits may not be as per his expectation. Well, it is not the rule of thumb, even though it has its own sanctity within the meaning and concept. It also gets influenced by the environments and changing scenario yet again in a limited sense. This is the drawback when returns, in any form from any disposition, are linked to short-term benefits and profits.

A common concept, in general, is to exert caution and do not reveal your trade and practices secrets publicly. How far this is true is arguable and not substantiated, broadly speaking. However, a cautionary approach is always welcome to avoid confusion among the less informed workforce. The mindset of a giver wholeheartedly wants to share his experience with others. He transforms knowledge down the line to naïve workforce thereby giving birth to new openings in many meaningful ventures. These trivial yet powerful units flourish and benefits are shared among the workforce, in a broader sense. He earns a goodwill among the top hierarchy besides gaining confidence and a lasting relationship with the work force.

Ruminating over these two simple words, "Giver and Taker," we may take detours and look into the aspect of charity. Although it is quite relevant to this topic, yet it is independent of its application. It is said that you impart when you do not sustain; you give fistful and get bucketful in return. It reminded me when as a child while I was in school; I memorized a saying, "Charity for all, malice towards none." A very profound saying which will certainly catapult your ideas and streamline in a direction of being human and humility.

The important leaf you take out of a philosophy of giver and taker is their concept, clarity of mind and judicious execution. At the outset, the concept is common for the two persons in its first stages. It then takes a detour after when clarity of mind gets refocused by external influence. This the point where execution is impacted by good or bad depending on the situation and motive and intentions of concerned people.

On the contrary, when the giver executes his plans with the clarity of mind concept, then he remained steadfast and walk along the path of the well-being of others. Both the persons and their modus operandi reveal the results; it heavily leans in favor of the giver. He not only succeeds in achieving positive results in his favor but also laurels and respect from the one who is helped by him. In most of the situations, the taker meets the end in a distasteful and disrespectful manner. If often leads to criminal proceedings and end in the disaster.

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Can You Hear Me?

Have you ever experienced a moment when you realized that the thing you asked your staff, teammates, or even your children to do yesterday still hasn't been done - even when you gave them very clear instructions? It's easy to point blame, but consider this: it could be they really didn't hear what you thought you communicated.

We often don't effectively reach our goals because we fail to take into account how we communicate. Studies have shown that communication is the most common thing managers do, spending 60% to 80% of their time communicating with their teams. However, stats also suggest most managers are bad communicators. In one relevant survey, 86% of managers thought they were good communicators, but only 17% of the employees surveyed said their managers did indeed communicate effectively. Another survey uncovered that only 14% of people rated their managers as "good" or "very good" communicators.

Even if you're not a manager, realizing the importance of good communication is still your responsibility. The hours wasted on projects that have to be redone because of the lack of communication between coworkers is staggering. Similarly, the job seeker often struggles with how to communicate their skills in a way that sets them apart.

Changing the way you communicate isn't easy, but I do have three simple words to help you make this change easier: Repeat, Confirm and Clarify!

REPEAT what you thought you heard or ask those receiving the instructions to repeat what they heard. You might be surprised at how their understanding of what you said is actually quite off.

Secondly, CONFIRM the deadlines. Everyone must understand the expectation and urgency of the matter at hand. For example, job seekers should always confirm when they should expect to next connect after an interview. Say things like, "If I don't hear from you by this date, can I follow up?" This keeps the process and line of communication moving.

Lastly, CLARIFY how to communicate back that the duty or task is done. Is a presentation in order? Will a phone call suffice? Find a tangible example of how this communication will take place.

A plan to Repeat, Confirm and Clarify may sound simple, but it can be a challenge if you're in a rush to get back to a project or move on to the next one. It also gets more complicated the more people you have to communicate with.

So ask yourself if there's evidence you might need to develop a better communication strategy. If so, take time and effort to truly be heard, simply starting with three simple words: Repeat, Confirm and Clarify.

Once you master this approach consistently, you'll like the answer you get when asking, "Can you hear me now?!"

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