Several weeks back, a conference left me wishing I was at home alone, without anyone looking at me. I wasn't feeling super well, in fact, I might have actually been on the start of a really nasty illness, but I hadn't realized I was sick yet. I just didn't feel well.
The ultimate push to leave the conference came after I'd sat through the afternoon presentation, and in the process of dressing for dinner, I realized I'd brought everything but the DRESS that went with my outfit. Without it, black slacks just weren't going to cut it, I needed the DRESS. Frustrated, almost angry, and feeling defeated, I left the conference without attending the final evening. I'd just had too much. I was done.
I slipped out after everyone else had gone to the dining room for dinner.
Later, with my phone dinging from text messages asking where I was, I made a quick stop to grab a sandwich at a drive through, and looked through the texts. One in particular stood out...
"Hey, I just checked at the desk when I couldn't find you and they said you checked out. Are you okay? I was hoping we could have a drink tonight after the final presentation!"
I was already at the southern edge of town, headed home, and not willing to drive back. I responded with a quick. "I'll be okay. I just needed some space. I'll call tomorrow." And through tears, I paid for my sandwich and drove home. I don't think I ever bothered to eat the sandwich. I was feeling too far down at the time... I needed, really needed, to hear the words from a friend "I was hoping we could have a drink tonight after the presentation."
You see...
Throughout the entire event, I'd felt invisible. I'd been feeling as if I didn't really matter to anyone there. I really had felt as if my presence there was detrimental to the purpose of the event. And because I didn't FEEL good, I'd allowed these negative feelings to drive me away from the final event, which most likely would have shifted my thinking. Why? Because my friend had noticed me, and was planning to ask me to join him for a drink.
We'd talked earlier, but only in groups. And being a bit shy, I had stood in the background, allowing others to "make the impressions" and I wasn't sharing my valuable message with anyone. I was holding back.
Two hours later, at home, I keyed in the video that had been loaded from the final portion of the event and watched as the speaker told "my story" from his perspective. He didn't know he was telling my story. He thought he was telling his own story.
He thought he was sharing the story of a man who didn't feel worthy of sharing his message, because others were sharing the message too. The words he spoke were like prods to my heart, shocking me into the reality that we're all just traveling through this world with our own problems, dealing with our own realities, and none of us has perfected the process. But we don't have to accept that lonely, over the edge feeling of defeat that pushes us into a corner, when we don't feel acknowledged, recognized, or visible.
Imagine for a moment if you looked around the room, behind the smiles that are visible and saw the soul of others as they truly are... Would they be the confident person you see, in the perfectly selected outfit, pressed and pristine, smiling with unstoppable determination? Or would they be a broken, hurting soul, who accidentally left the perfect dress at home in the closet and packed EVERY OTHER SINGLE ITEM for her outfit, and chose a different one for the night?
During the following week, my "not feeling good" required a Dr. visit, and the realization that I'd missed out on a night of fun with a friend that would have meant the world to me. But more... That next week gave me insight into a reality that shook me to the core.
I'm more than the perfect outfit. I'm anything but invisible. My life has meaning. I'm a valuable person, with a message that nobody else has been given, and I'm intended to share that message. Whether there's a crowded room of listeners, or a table for two with a semi-polite stranger on the other side, I have a purpose. I can be confident that my message has meaning. And if I don't share my message with others, it might never be heard.
If you're allowing your message to be stifled because you think you're somehow unworthy, invisible, or not the perfect messenger... STOP. Rethink this process, and rethink who you are. YOU have a purpose. You have a message. And YOU are the only one given the message you have, who can deliver your message to the people who will listen to you. There's someone out there, at least one person who NEEDS to hear the message you're given. They need YOU.
Fight for it. Overcome STUFF that might take you out of the running. Grab onto some of that trending confidence, unstoppable determination, and overcome stuff that would prevent you from delivering your message to the one person who needs to hear it from you!
Do what you've been sent here to do - share your message, with confidence.
When what's inside you is struggling to get out, you might need to hear from someone who has overcome the "stuff" that holds you back. You might need direction, assistance, and help to get to your own place of power. I can help you with that, because I know what it takes to overcome stuff. Visit http://www.JanVerhoeff.com and let's have coffee!
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